ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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