All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I supernannyed him into submission
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
