I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize