I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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