member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
