Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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