found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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