ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
