She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
