billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think my moral compass just broke
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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