And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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