Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
