I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
No...this little piggys going to the bar
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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