The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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