You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
