As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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