So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I need to stop coming to work sober
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize