If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
