Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
