Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
