Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
