This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
