Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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