I must be too annoying 4 u.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
