It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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