No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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