do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
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