the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
