so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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