so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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