You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
