we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
