Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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