A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
