when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We left the knife in your bed.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
