I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
