Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
