it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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