Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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