He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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