Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
