lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
