dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I forget how to act sober
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
