You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize