i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
