I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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