This is not my ceiling
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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