I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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