I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
