ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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