we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize