he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
