Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
