all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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