Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
