so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
