Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We're too hungover to prance.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
