Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
