Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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