Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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