Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
