some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
