so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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