4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
