Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
