Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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