Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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