Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
