they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
